Life in the crossfire

Growing up in North Carolina is not quite like growing up in Georgia, Alabama, or Mississippi. We are still southern. There is no doubt about that. We have our own kind of unique southern charm. Yes ma'am and yes sir. Please and thank you. We smile at strangers, which by the way, never ever try if you're in New York City. It's going to send the wrong message and you'll end of unknowingly "flirting" with someone, or you'll end up with a black eye. 

North Carolina is also not exactly like our neighbor to the south either. South Carolina is very much so still indoctrinated in the ways of the old south. I've never thought twice about the fact that the confederate flag still flew on the state house grounds in Columbia. I've been there before, but honestly didn't think twice about it. It means nothing to me. It's just a flag I told myself, and like many others think it's harmless. 

But is it? 

I sometimes get too caught up in my own opinions, but I always try to consider both sides of an argument. While I am mostly still indifferent on the issue, I do think that it's probably time that we retire the stars and bars to a museum. It is history. A very ugly history about a war of secession (You're welcome history majors). But sometimes the right thing to do is just the right thing to do. South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley called for the removal of the flag this week in light of the recent tragedy in Charleston. And many other individuals have echoed the same sentiments. 

My first reaction to this was, o.k. but is this going to change anything? Will it change attitudes? People's way of thinking? Is it going to make individuals "not racist?" Racism is still a real thing. It's not cut and dry, and it's not one-sided as some journalists and media members would lead you to believe. I've heard the term "institutionalized racism," more in the past year than I ever have before. I've struggled with understanding exactly what it meant and if it had any truth behind it and it wasn't another one of those made up terms to victimize individuals when they may not be a victim at all. Maybe it is a real thing? Who I am to say it's not? After all, I am white, and I am a male, right? The left in particular has tried to silence the white male opinion as much as possible because after all, anything bad that has ever happened is the white man's fault. There is some truth to that statement and of course I am being sarcastic, but I digress. 

Is removing the confederate flag the right thing to do? Simply, yes. But truth be told, I don't know what's to happen after that. It's going to make a lot of people angry. Most people will forget about it and move on with their lives. 

But will that proverbial flag still be flying?

People need to realize that others will always hate you just because you're you. Racism will always exist. I know that is a tough pill to swallow for some people and I know some people will argue that it will not, but as long as people are different, and as long as they come from different cultures, one side will always find angst towards the other. We have come a very long way no matter what anyone tells you. People of color are afforded every opportunity that my European descent relatives are given. Life is what you make of it, and if you constantly play the victim and are worried that someone hates you because you are a different color than your neighbor, well, that is not a life worth living in my book. I treat people the same. If you are nice to me, I will be nice to you. It's that simple. It's how my mother raised me. Doesn't matter what race, gender, nationality, sexual preference, etc. You will receive my respect and kindness if you deserve it.

I hope something good comes of this removal if it does happen. Maybe some people's attitudes and opinions will change? Maybe not? I guess only time will tell.

What is normal like?

Often times in this crazy world in which we live, we get caught up on each others differences, and trying to get along, especially in the social media age of today, takes us back to the playground at elementary school. I would venture to say most of us have varying opinions, and for the most part we are able to civilly discuss said various topics (even if they are political) without much damage or someone's feelings being hurt.

Not everything that happens in the world around us is going to be something we like or we agree with. Bruce Jenner (now Caitlyn) this week appeared on the cover of Vanity Fair, after her recent gender reassignment surgery. Gender reassignment and transgendered people are something that is not new. But for this topic to be in the limelight, and at the forefront of popular culture today IS new. Caitlyn Jenner is certainly not a transgender pioneer, as people such as Christine Jorgensen, Sylvia Rivera, and Renee Richards all transitioned in times when it was much less accepting as it is today. But Jenner should certainly be celebrated in her own right.

It takes guts to be yourself. 

If you have never had to not be yourself, then you don't understand what it's like. Being yourself is something that comes so naturally to most, but for others it can take years before they are comfortable being themselves. Please don't discount that fact if you don't simply understand.

It's O.K. to not understand everything of this world. My initial reaction to Caitlyn Jenner was that it didn't really affect me, and what someone does to their own body and with their own life has no affect on me. 

Sometimes we don't need to have reactions. 

A lot of people can confuse this with not being allowed to have an opinion. Having an opinion is a right. Whether that opinion will be well liked is another, but it's still a right. I saw many people share a photo of a double-amputee soldier with the caption, "Caitlyn Jenner won the Arthur Ashe Courage Award. The runner up was this guy: Army Veteran Noah Galloway, who lost an arm and a leg to a roadside bomb in Iraq, and now competes in Crossfit events, runs marathons, and competed in the 58-hour Death Race."

This fact has since been disproved, since ESPN does not award a runner-up for the Arthur Ashe Courage Award. The fact of the matter is, every year there is going to be someone that is absolutely worthy of the award but does not win.

Can we for once put down our self-righteous weapons and let people be who they are. Nothing is wrong with our nation for making things that were once taboo, normal. Being who you are is your normal. It may not be someone else's normal, but guess what? It's not theirs to have. You are you.

 Be yourself for god's sakes.